I opened my inbox last Monday, and the very first sentence I read was:
“Let me just say it: you are not behind.”
And honestly… that broke me.
It put into words the weight I’ve been carrying for a while now. It’s the thought that visits me before I fall asleep. It echoes in the back of my mind when I hear others share their good news. It’s there in the silence, in those moments when I’m alone with my thoughts.
No need for concern!! I’m okay, and I have plenty to be grateful for. And yet, just because I haven’t ticked off the goals I set years ago, just because I’m not in the place I envisioned, it sometimes feels like none of what I’ve accomplished so far matters. Like I’m stuck, while the rest of the world is moving ahead.
But then I saw an image of a potter shaping a vase, and the verse came to mind:
“You are the potter, I am the clay.” (Isaiah 64:8)
And suddenly, I remembered: God formed me, intentionally and for a purpose.
Pottery doesn’t begin with beauty. It starts with mud (with clay dug from the earth), cleaned of impurities, kneaded, softened, and shaped. The potter works patiently, guiding the form into being.
But that’s not the end. The vessel must dry, slowly and steadily or it might crack. Then comes the heat: it is fired in a kiln at extreme temperatures, transforming it from soft clay into hardened ceramic. And finally, it can be glazed, refined, and fired again.
This is a whole process and yet we often want to skip it entirely because if the temporary pain that comes with it.
Recognizing God as the Potter it a great first step. There is intention, artistry and divine patience behind our existence. Even our cracks and imperfections? Sometimes they’re part of the beauty; the Kintsugi in the design.
When life gets hard, the question isn’t “Why is this happening?”
A better question might be:
“How do I want to come out of this?”
Do I want to come out unfinished because I was impatient? Do I want to be cracked and brittle because I resisted the fire? Or do I want to be made strong and beautiful through it all?
We look at the lives of others and admire the finished product, their success, their smiles, their stories without knowing how often they’ve been broken, reshaped, and placed back into the kiln. We compare their highlight reels to our behind-the-scenes.
But even if I’ve given up on myself…..even if the world has stopped expecting anything from me…
What does God say about me?
Whose standard am I using to define failure?
What if the cracks were intentional? What if they were caused by my own hands and yet God still used them in the design? What if being remolded isn’t condemnation… but compassion?
Failure isn’t final unless we stop learning. It can teach us and it can sharpen us. But only if we pause long enough to ask ourselves:
- Why did I fall?
- What am I missing?
- What do I need to unlearn?
But when we rush the process and care more about the product than the formation, we miss the wisdom hidden in the waiting.
I’ve placed so many deadlines on myself and honestly it’s becoming unhealthy:
By this age, I should’ve achieved this….look at my friends already doing this…..if only I was more serious by now I would be……
But why? Who set those timelines for me? Who told me I’m “behind”?
Sometimes I think we forget that people live full lives into their 60s, 70s, and 80s. A woman who has a child at 18 and one who has a child at 50; they’re both mothers. The timeline looks different, but both still end up being fruitful.
God is never late.
Negative thoughts have a way of draining our soul. They whisper, “It’s too late… why bother?”
But maybe it’s not failure, maybe it’s God’s protection. Maybe the door closed because the room wasn’t safe. Maybe the delay was preparation, not punishment.
I need to learn to let my disappointment lead me back to God instead of pushing me away from Him thinking ‘I didn’t deserve this’. I need to place my hopes, hurts, and my timeline in His hands.
Even if it never works out the way I imagined, I still should never give up on God. And definitely not give up on myself.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it…” (Philippians 1:6)
I am not a failure, I am not behind and in due season I too shall be fruitful.
Stay Blessed x
