Celestial Diary

Disclaimer: PG 13

The Internet is a wild place to be. As I grow older, I’ve noticed a shift in the content that pops up in my feed, with algorithms seemingly intent on bombarding me with more mature themes. From engagements to interior design tips, workplace troubles, and adorable baby pictures; my feed has become a mishmash of diverse topics.

Recently, I stumbled upon a podcast discussing dating within the Christian community. One of the guests began describing his ideal partner, and I couldn’t help but feel uneasy about the way he spoke and carried himself whenever he discussed this “ideal woman” and the expectations he has of her in public spaces and behind closed doors. To be honest, it was rather off-putting. What surprised me even more was that the other women on the podcast seemed to share similar sentiments. They too had bought into worldly ideals of what makes a good partner, and even went as far as lamenting about Christians being “boring” in the dating scene.

The men want a Christian baddie while the women want a Godly bad boy. How are these two even compatible with each other? It seems like there’s a bit of a mismatch in what people are looking for in relationships. Some guys seem to want a Christian woman who’s also kind of flashy or “wild,” while some women are attracted to guys who might prioritize their faith but also have a rebellious or edgy side. It’s hard to see how a serious believer would fit well together in a relationship with such characters, considering the different values and priorities.

Christian Baddie

A “Christian baddie” typically refers to someone who identifies as a Christian but also exhibits traits or behaviors that are commonly associated with being rebellious or edgy. It’s kind of like a mix of someone who embraces their faith but also has a bit of a wild or daring side.

To properly understand the term, a few examples are:

1. A Christian who listens to music with explicit lyrics and loves clubbing but still attends church regularly and believes in God.
2. Someone who has tattoos or piercings, which are often associated with rebellion, but also actively participates in church activities and volunteers in their community.
3. A person who occasionally uses foul language, has a past involving substance abuse, promiscuity, or other reckless behavior and still exhibits such behaviors once in a while after accepting Christ.
4. A Christian who openly expresses doubts or questions about their faith, challenges traditional religious norms, and seeks to explore spirituality in unconventional ways.
5. A person who dresses in a style that is considered edgy or unconventional for Christians, such as wearing revealing clothes or bold makeup, but still lives by Christian principles.
6. A Christian influencer or public figure who challenges traditional views on morality, sexuality, or gender roles within the context of their faith while advocating for love, acceptance, and inclusivity.

These examples show that a Christian baddie is someone who mixes both beliefs and non-beliefs. They’re not completely following God, but they’re not fully committed to worldly ways either.

When we think about how women are portrayed in the Bible, it’s important to ask: Should we, as women of faith, accept labels and ideas from the world? Should we fit into stereotypes that go against what God wants for us? And for men, is this really the type of partner you’re looking for?

In my study of ‘Prominent women of the Bible‘, I didn’t find any who fit the description of a Christian baddie. Instead, they were strong, confident women who knew their worth and followed God wholeheartedly, not seeking approval from the world.

Proverbs 31: 10-31
¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Godly Bad Boy

A “Godly bad boy” is a term that is quite contradictory. It refers to a person, typically a man, who has a rebellious or adventurous streak but is also deeply committed to their Christian faith and values. Here’s what it might look like:

1. A Godly bad boy is the type to push boundaries, question authority, or engage in activities that are typically associated with rebellion or nonconformity. This could include anything from adventurous hobbies to unconventional and irresponsible lifestyle choices.
2. Despite their rebellious tendencies, a Godly bad boy is rooted in their Christian faith. They may have a strong prayer life, attend church regularly, and actively seek to grow spiritually.
3. Despite their “bad boy” image, they maintain a strong sense of morality and integrity based on Christian principles. They strive to live according to biblical teachings and uphold values such as honesty, kindness, and compassion. This is the typical ‘He’s mean to others but nice to me’ type of man.
4. They are unapologetically themselves, refusing to conform to societal or religious expectations of how a Christian should behave or look. They embrace their flaws and imperfections, recognizing that true strength comes from vulnerability and authenticity (arrogance and pride also play a part in unapologetically being themselves).
5. Like the classic “bad boy” type, a Godly bad boy may have a past marked by mistakes, struggles, or regrets. This is somehow attractive to women because we have the innate urge to fix people. Women see the charm in their journey of redemption and transformation, as they experience God’s grace and forgiveness in their lives.
6. The way they speak to women, carry themselves, treat others, and think is much more colorful than what’s typically associated with Christianity. The world often refers to this as “having game,” but upon closer examination, you’ll notice a few peculiarities.
7. A Godly bad boy is a complex individual who defies easy categorization. They’re outwardly attractive but unwilling to compromise and sacrifice when it comes to love. They believe in God but refuse to completely surrender to Him.

Ephesians 5: 25-28
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 
²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 
²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 
²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 

The Bible has lots of advice for men on how to be good husbands, fathers, and leaders. Take a moment to find those verses and read them. Then, think about how those qualities match up with what you see in a “Godly Bad Boy.” Let the Holy Spirit guide you as you consider this.

If being a regular Christian seems dull to some, then that’s okay with me. I don’t believe that being bold and rebellious is the only way to be attractive in a relationship. Why attract more problems to your life when the world is problematic enough? A lot of us have unrealistic ideas about relationships and marriage because of what we see in books, movies, and social media. No one is perfect from the start, and building a strong relationship takes a lot of effort. Now, picture putting in all that hard work with someone who doesn’t share your values or beliefs.

If a man starts listing off his ideal woman checklist like he’s ordering from a menu, it’s time to hit the eject button. No matter how smooth his talk or how good he looks in a leather jacket, remember, bad boys come with their own set of issues. Trust me, the thrill wears off real quick. And if as a lady, you find yourself drawn to those guys who seem like they walked straight out of a romantic novel but forgot to pack their moral compass, maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities.
If a woman tells you she’s attracted to certain types of men (let’s call them red flags), or you’ve noticed she keeps gravitating towards questionable characters, it might be wise to hit the brakes and steer clear. Life’s too short to be caught up in a whirlwind of relationship drama.
Let’s not forget, relationships aren’t about finding the flashiest partner; they’re about finding someone who walks the talk, and not only who looks good next to us. We must be vigilant in choosing who we allow into our lives, avoiding relationships that could lead us astray.

For me, a “Godly Bad Boy” is someone who follows worldly ways but also believes in God. That’s not the kind of person I want leading my family and any woman who proudly calls herself a ‘Christian Baddie’ should really think about what she values.

I’m not an expert on relationships, and everyone has their own preferences, but if we claim to follow Christ, we should live accordingly. We shouldn’t mistake stability, reliability, and respect for being bland, predictable and insecure.

Stay Blessed x