Celestial Diary

Be it a warning, correction, a prophecy, or even a word of encouragement to another… God is always speaking to us.
The problem is, life is so busy that some of us rarely have time to spend with Him. And then we wonder why things don’t always go well for us.

Some of us only remember God in our time of need, while conveniently forgetting all the other things He’s done.
Being too busy also means we aren’t prepared for what is to come, or we end up losing ourselves after being overwhelmed.

I’m overly guilty of this. God has shown me countless times that at the end of the day, all will be well but sometimes the process is so long that I allow my anxiety to take over.

Anyone who knows me knows how hard I struggle with one particular course. I’ve given up on the degree countless times (and yes, even physically stepped away from it) because of that one course. Just thinking about it is enough to raise my blood pressure and make me feel depressed.

I’m using this example because I think we all have that one giant in our lives. That one thing that, no matter what, just doesn’t seem to be working out.

Under normal circumstances, I’m not a quitter. I even have a few talents I should probably allow myself to be proud of. But the moment I hit a wall with this course…It’s like the world has ended.

Suddenly I’m worthless. I’m a failure. God has forsaken me. Why me this, why me that… and I just wallow in self-pity. And in those moments, I’m inconsolable and afterwards reminded of just how dramatic I can be.

But yesterday, for the first time, I did something different.
After my usual pity party, with the negative thoughts and tears, I didn’t lock myself in my room and I didn’t run to my usual distractions to avoid feeling like a failure.

Instead, I closed my books, got dressed, left the house, and surrounded myself with fellow believers (even though I was in a horrible mood), and spent the entire evening worshipping God with them.

“Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” — Matthew 18:20

I know it sounds cliché and I’ve heard it a thousand times. How we ought to worship in times of trouble; still pray, still draw closer to God instead of running away and seeking relief elsewhere.

And I’ve tried it before. But I think the difference this time was that I removed myself from the negative atmosphere. Because before, I’d try to force a positive outcome while still sitting in the same heavy space.

There were times I’d even turn off worship music because it just made me more depressed, like God remembered everyone else but somehow skipped me, and I’d just cry myself to sleep.

But this time, I don’t even know where the strength came from. All I know is that dragging myself out of the house into a Holy Spirit-filled atmosphere and actually speaking the lyrics out loud made a huge difference.

This time, the lyrics reminded me of how He has always come through for me. How He is still there. How far I’ve come. And that a little struggle now doesn’t mean it’s the end.

I wasn’t focus on all the things that were going on, instead I was speaking positivity into my life, praying and focused on His greatness.

As humans, we’re way too quick to focus on the negative and let it overwhelm us.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

Now, going to worship last night didn’t mean all my problems magically disappeared. But I came home lighter, happier, and a bit more motivated (Psalm 16:11). I left the house in a horrible mood but at the end I was able to laugh with old and new friends (I even socialized afterwards when I’m normally the type to run away after events).

And guess what? Studying today was a lot better than yesterday, I actually made progress!
Philippians 4:13
God is not a genie!! I didn’t worship to manipulate Him into doing anything. And this doesn’t mean I won’t face challenges (John 16:33).

It just means that no matter what I’m going through, He’s right there with me.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” — Hebrews 13:5

If I’m convinced that I’m on the right path and doing what God wants me to do, then I should also believe that no matter how long it takes…I’ll get there eventually.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” — Philippians 1:6

My time is not His time. And maybe this experience is so that in the future, I can empathize with others and be a source of encouragement to them.

“There is a time for everything… a season for every activity under the heavens.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

The songs that were sung weren’t new to me and yet, I had forgotten them.
I had forgotten the words God had spoken. The messages He passed on through Scripture, through songs, through life experiences. All because, in that moment, I was drowning in my own sorrow.

Let this be a source of encouragement to you today:
No matter what you’re going through, God sees you. He’s with you. And don’t worry, He’s taking care of you. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” — Psalm 34:18

You might have forgotten the words He spoke to you before, but just try to bask in His presence again, and you’ll hear Him clearly. “Call to me and I will answer you.” — Jeremiah 33:3

He’s always trying to communicate with us (there’s a reason we have the Holy Spirit). Tap into that source. And whenever you feel like you’re running dry, go back to the Fountain of Life and be renewed in strength.

I pray that as many of us who are in need of comfort receive it. That we remember we are loved. That we don’t give up in the middle of the storm.

Galatians 6:9 might just be my new mantra. It says “Let us not grow weary in doing good… we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

No matter what life throws at us, I pray that we come out victorious on the other side.

Stay Blessed x